Over 20 years ago I was introduced to The Work of Byron Katie. Since that time, I have used it in my personal life, relationships, and coaching practice. Over the years I have listened as people describe the reasons their relationships aren’t working or the ways their partners have hurt them. Most times folks just want to know how to have a healthy relationship or how to fix a relationship that feels broken. Often, they believe that there’s no hope because they don’t see their partners or parents or employers changing their behaviors and so they either resign themselves to the status quo or they decide to quit the relationship they are in.

The Work offers another possibility – through deep inquiry and honest reflection we begin to ask the questions: Am I fighting the reality of who my partner is, believing that they should see and move in the world the way I want them to, wanting to be right rather than moving towards acceptance and peace? The Byron Katie work offers us a way to deepen our connection to ourselves thereby making it possible to be in relationship to others with more clarity and honesty.

Recently I sat with someone who felt he had been burned by the last few women he’d dated. He had stories that supported the ways in which he’d been used and lied to. He hadn’t realized how much it was influencing his ability to find a partner until he challenged those relationship stories and beliefs. Once he truly questioned into the stories he’d held as true he saw that neither of the two offending parties had either lied to him or used and deceived him. Deeper inquiry helped him find what it was that led him to mistrust the women he met and prevented him from having intimate long-term relationships.

Often folks will ask me, “How do I rebuild trust in relationship or how do I fix my relationship if my partner isn’t here to do the work with me?”  I assure them that it’s an inside job and the trusting and fixing starts inside themselves by changing the patterns of thinking and believing the stories they tell themselves. Once they unwind those, many of the issues that they thought existed fall away and they are left with the beauty of what had been in front of them all along.

Are you interested in how Life Coaching  can improve your relationship to self and other? Contact me, Nina Vincent, for a free 30 minute phone consult and find out whether I am the right life coach for you. 

Text at 415-595-2739

email: [email protected] subject heading: Coaching appointment

I see clients virtually or in my Whole Self Healing/Heart of the Matter Coaching Mill Valley office.