Relationship and Life Coaching Podcast Interview

This is the Professional Podcast Network. Here with us today is Nina Vincent owner of Heart of the Matter Coaching. Hi Nina.

Hi. Thanks for having me.

Okay. Tell the listeners what services you provide in your business Heart of the Matter Coaching?

Well, I sit with people and we look at what isn’t working in their lives and relationships and then we try to figure out why.

       It doesn’t really matter what type of relationship you’re in, I think the key things we need to address are; communication, listening skills, and identifying what needs aren’t being met and learning how to express them.

     What I’ve seen over the years is that often in relationship we want to blame the other person for what’s not working. The thing is it’s rarely the other person who’s to blame for what’s not working in our lives and when we think they are, we hold them responsible for our happiness which is a problem because the truth is, we can’t change how someone else behaves or responds, we can only change how WE behave and respond.

     So, for example, I had a client who was certain that she needed her husband to take better care of his body and his health for her to be happy. She wanted him to go to the gym more, to eat better, and to have fewer beers at the end of the day. She’d become so worried about her husband’s lack of care for himself that she was literally making herself sick. She believed the story that her happiness was dependent on her husband’s self-care when actually what she needed to focus on was her own well-being and let her husband live his life the way he wanted. As soon as she stopped tying her happiness to her husband’s behaviors, she saw what she needed to be happy, and it actually had nothing to do with her husband!

Alright. How long have you been in business?

     I started my Whole-Self Healing practice with Health and Wellness Counseling and acupuncture about 24 years ago. What I saw early on was how anxiety, conflict, and stress were either causing or contributing to my patient’s health issues. So, I began spending as much time treating them with herbs and acupuncture as I did coaching them in relationship and personal growth. I loved that aspect of my work so much that eventually I started my Heart of the Matter Coaching business.

 Tell us a bit more about your business.

     My business is about helping my clients find healthier ways to connect with themselves and with the people they love, whether that’s workmates, kids, parents or a friend. Heart of the Matter Coaching is about sitting together and doing the work, asking the questions that get to the heart of what’s causing someone to feel separate from themselves or the people they want to feel connected with.

     I remind my clients that it’s not, “You and me against each other, it’s you and me against the problem.” For whatever reason folks in relationship forget that they aren’t supposed to be opponents, their supposed to be working as a team to solve the problems in their relationship.

     Another thing I’ve noticed is when we don’t know how to identify and express what it is we need for ourselves we become resentful and confused in our relationships.  I’ve learned over the years that if we can slow things down and listen to what’s going on inside ourselves, we’re better able to work together and resolve conflict and disagreements.

 What inspired you to pursue your profession?

     I grew up in a family whose communication skills were more than terrible. When I left the east coast and came to California to live there was so much more attention put on thoughtful communication and I saw what a difference it made.

      I love people and I’ve always been the person that my friends come to for counsel when they have a problem. For me it’s like a puzzle that needs solving. We just have to find the missing pieces and what I notice is they’re almost always hiding within reach – we just have to know where to look. Nothing makes me happier than when some idea or suggestion we have inspires someone and they do what needs to be done to improve their life.

What would you like the listeners to know about you?

     I think the most important thing to know about me is that I love what I do. I love working with people and helping them identify their goals and I’m a fantastic cheerleader and I’ll support you in getting what you want for yourself.

     I’m a compassionate caring person and I don’t judge. I mean really don’t judge. I know we’re all doing the best we can. We all make mistake. I’ve made plenty in my life.  

    And the other thing to know about me is, I love to laugh, and I bring humor into the room whenever possible.

 It’s always good to laugh.

Yes, absolutely

Okay. Thankyou Nina.